Wednesday Madness

Wednesdays are the best. There's Top Model and Project Runway. Be still my heart. Don't continue to read this if you don't want to be spoilered.

Top Model: I am so loving this cycle. While I can still tell who is going to be bottom two (it is a skill I have honed after 11 cycles of this shit), I didn't actually know who was going home this week. Isis hadn't lived up to the potential that everyone thought she should have, but Samantha really pissed off that designer. However, it's Tyra that makes the decisions and she was done with Isis. I liked Isis and thought she could really be striking in photos but I guess the whole confidence thing really got to her. The cynical part of me wonders why they had two swim suit/water photo shoots in a row when they knew that she was uncomfortable. Hmmmmm.
Also of interest in the episode:

1. Analeigh rocked! This girl is my favorite and I am so glad she did well. I also love Lauren Brie. Hooray for Laurens!
2. Did anyone else notice how Tyra totally snapped at Paulina during panel when Paulina expressed an opinion opposite Tyra's? Me thinks this may be Paulina's last year on panel.
3. Hannah is gone. I don't have much of an opinion on this besides it was an interesting turn of events to eliminate someone midway though the episode.

Project Runway:

This was an okay episode. I knew they were going to be designing clothing for each other, but I didn't know about the twist of having to design for a musical genre. I still don't know if I liked it or not. I thought some of the genres lent themselves to over exaggeration better than others. Of course this could be because I am totally biased and want LeAnne to win.

Here's the breakdown:

LeAnne designed a country outfit for Korto

Korto designed a punk outfit for Suede

Suede designed a rock outfit for Jerell

Jerell designed a pop outfit for Kenley

Kenley designed a hip hop outfit for LeAnne

Out of those genres, punk and rock can really lend themselves to being outlandish but somehow still accepted within society. Hip hop and pop to an extent as well. Country I think though, if LeAnne had really taken it all the way to the extreme, it would have been ridiculous. Like she said, there is a fine line between that and costume. As for Korto winning, I was fine with that. I liked the bleached pants a whole lot.

And as much as it pains me to say, I wish Kenley had gone home over Suede. I don't think Suede is very talented outside of the very small party dress realm, but at least he can keep his attitude in check. Kenley? No one talks back to Tim Gunn. You don't have to take his advice (although that seems to always prove to be a bad idea), but you shouldn't ever talk back to the man. I wish you would leave my tv screen. I also wish you wouldn't blame LeAnne for not being hip hop enough on the runway as the fault for your awful outfit. Shut up.

So in summary Suede out. Korto wins. Jerell is second. LeAnne third and Kenley in last. As she always should be. One step closer to my girl LeAnimal taking the title at Bryant Park!!!

Tomorrow is the Office premiere!

ANTM: The Girls Go On Go-See Adventures

I've been a slacker.....it happens. Here's what I remember about last week's episode. Hopefully I'll be better this week.

It's the go see episode! This is always fun. Anyone remember last year meltdown? (Oh Brit)

The girls get their portfolio, directions, and a translator. I don't remember them every having a translator in the past. Neat. Well- not that it really does them any good because apparently the translators can only get the girls in the general vicinity of the designers. The girls must then figure out how to get into the buildings all by their lonesome. Obviously- this gives Heather some huge problems.
Now, ANTM always does the little countdown things where it rattles off how many go-sees each of the girls has actually been on. Usually this is misleading and they all end up with roughly the same amount give or take one. This cycle, not so much. Poor Heather. I really thought they were just making her out to be having an awful time. But no. She really only made it to one designer.
The rest of the girls fared slightly better. Bianca and Saleisha seemed to get along fairly well with the designers. Those two were also the only ones to make it back on time. Did the other three never see a previous season of the show before? Everyone knows you have to make it back on time! I mean, talk to Dani(elle) about those sour grapes.

Now let's get this out of the way. This cycle is boring. Bianca is really the only thing that makes it interesting at all. That being said I want Jenah to win. No- I don't really think Jenah is the prettiest, but I think she is the most model like. If Saleisha wins, I will be very angry. Like more than I was when Joanie didn't win. I only put up with that because Dani(elle) is cool too.
So- liking Jenah, I was a little pissed at her edit this week. No I don't think she's a bitch, but she could have been nicer to Nigel. (Again- watch the show before you go on it. It's on VH1 or MTV every freaking day. Learn from Caridee's mistakes) I was happy when she turned out a stellar picture. I was less happy when she was in the bottom two. Did you see Bianca's picture? Yuk!

Actually I didn't like the photo shoot at all. So I didn't really like any of the pictures.

I was sad to see Heather go. This was the first week in like 3 cycles that I was actually surprised as to who went home. I just really didn't think they would get rid of Heather till the final episode. I figured she would deliver another bad commercial and since we all know she can't walk, would be sent home before the final runway show. But no- adios Heather. You took some great photos and I'm sure will find some work.

We still have: Jenah, Chantal, Bianca, Saleisha.
This week? Great wall of China shoot- or something like that.
My Top Three: Jenah, Chantal, Bianca
More Probably Top Three: Saleisha, Bianca, Jenah

America's next Top Model: The Girl Who Starts to Lose Her Cool

After last week's sad ending, I was hoping for a happy little episode to lift my spirits. This was not it. This was boring.

We begin with Heather talking about how she is sad that Sarah left. This is a lame attempt by the editors to make us think that Heather might be going home. We watchers are way too smart for that. Heather go home? Ha.

We also start with Lisa talking about how she was called first last week and how she needs to keep it up and Ambreal talking again about how she shouldn't be here. This is the editing we know and love.

The girls get their first Tyra mail and it has something to do with being a muse. Chantal, of all people, realizes they will have to be inspiring. Hmmmkay.

They arrive at a Fashion school and meet some designers. Benny Ninja is there to be small, weird, and tell them about their challenge. Which is.....to inspire one of the designers to redesign a horrific dress into an outfit worthy of the catwalk. The dress reminds me of one that Robert from season 3 of Project Runway designed. You remember the one.

Some of the girls really hit it off with their designers. (Jenah, Chantal, Saleisha) Others......

Well Bianca just never gives her designer a chance. She complains that she won't listen to her, but I never see her actually talk to her. Heather is also having trouble. She keeps talking about being a fire sign and while that's neat and all, I have trouble seeing where this fits in at all.

After the dress making, the girls must walk in them on a runway and give a very small description as to why this dress was inspired by them. Bianca works it out, as does Jenah and Saleisha. Heather totally freezes and Lisa fumbles a bit as well. It does seem like a relatively simple challenge, I can totally commiserate with the fear of public speaking.

On hand to judge we have the editor of Seventeen and someone important from Elite Models, who is really creepy looking. They give their critiques and Heather's is rather harsh. I expect she is used to kind of being handled differently at home because she is really upset by this. Saleisha is named the winner and I think Jenah was robbed.

Once home, we see, thanks to subtitles, that Heather calls the shower. Does that really work in real life outside of like.....5th grade? Huh. Anyway, the shower appears to be massive and can comfortably hold many a person. So Saleisha and Lisa jump on in. This does not sit well with Heather who strips right down and jumps in too. She takes the opportunity to say a few choice words about the lack of respect she feels. The girls make a good point and tell Heather that she is in fact, in the shower and could just take the opportunity to shower. This whole scene, like most in the previews, was disappointing.

Photo shoot! The girls are driven out to the middle of nowhere and are made to act like they really think the bus is abandoning them. Who's shooting the video if they are all alone? They see a small mirage coming towards them.....it's jay! He tells them that the photo shoot this week involves a car and some fire. Awesome.

And actually it is a kind of awesome shoot. The girls have this rd convertible that is on fire to pose next too. They are supposed to look pissed off/desperate that they have broken down in the middle of the desert. Most of them pull this off fairly well with the exception of Ambreal, Heather, and Lisa.

At panel, Tyra introduces the judges and we see some creepy ass little puppet popping up behind them. I totally thought I imagined that first time around. But no, it is because everyone is going to China! Well.....not everyone. This was a totally cheap trick and really kinda bitchy of Tyra.

The photos are good, but standouts include Bianca, Jenah, Chantal. Heather had her weakest shoot and Lisa and Ambreal are still too safe.

The girls are called: Bianca, Jenah, Saliesha, Chantal, Heather.

We are left looking at Lisa and Ambreal. Everyone watching is hoping that Tyra will finally let Ambrel go. And so she does. Ambreal seems totally fine with the decision just proving that she is a cool girl, but not a good model.

Next week.....China! And covergirl ads........awesome.

America's next Top Model: The Girls Who Crawl 9-7

We rejoin our girls in the limo on their way back from judging. If you recall it was the judging where Ebony decided that Tyra was not the nice, lovable person she thought she was. The girls seem happy with ebony's decision, although considering how miserable Ebony seemed two weeks ago, i can't imagine that she'd be much fun to hang out with.

We then jump to Sarah commenting on how everyone thinks she is losing weight. I think this is deceiving to us in the viewing world because I think she looks fine. Then I remember, She is a NORMAL sized person. No wonder. However, I worry about this little confession so early in the episode as this spot is usually reserved for the girl who is sent home. However, the editors have decided to actually make me wonder a bit this episode. They give me a clip of Chantal talking about how confident she is and how much she believes in herself. Never a good thing to say. Need proof? See Saleisha's "I'll never be in the bottom two."

We are gathered around the pool and Bianca is complaining that Heather takes great pictures without trying. See that doesn't seem like much of an insult. It's more of some sort of backwards compliment. What's weird however, is that even though Heather is sitting literally three feet from Bianca and is involved in the conversation, Bianca continues to refer to her in the third person. Essentially, instead of saying, "You don't have to try in pictures." She says, "Heather doesn't have to try in pictures." It's weird.
The others totally back up Heather and kinda stop Bianca's shit in her tracks. It's kinda great.

The next day brings us to a dance studio where the girls don leotards. Thankfully, Tyra's has a skirt. She "teaches" the girls to be sexy. She is weirdly out of breath for most of this segment, so maybe being sexy is tiring profession. She goes on to tell the girls about being in music videos and how she, the great Tyra, has done many music videos and each one was awesome because of her. And then they prance across the floor. They also slide down walls and crawl across the floor. All very sexily of course. Do models routinely have to slide down a wall for photo shoots? Huh.

And now we're hugging ourselves. You totally know that Tyra hugs herself everyday and tells herself that she loves her. Ridiculous. This part was so boring. Not even Bianca's continued hatred of Heather was entertaining. And for the record, Bianca is totally right in this case. Heather looked a damn mess crawling across that floor. And Tim Burtonesque? Nice word choice there Tyra. I love Tim Burton, but who really wants to be compared to Edward Scissorhands here....

And back to the house. Sarah gets more air time and this is sad. I like her. She seems so normal.
There is Tyra mail and did you know that Heather is awkward occasionally? I know. Strange. She calls out to the girls about the Tyra Mail and the editors inform us that no one can hear and somehow this makes her awkward. Silly editors.

On to the Music Video shoot for.....wait for it.....Enrique Iglesias. Yeah that one Latin singer. No, no Ricky Martin. No, not the guy married to Jlo. I'm just kidding. I remember Bailamos. Enrique actually looks pretty good. Hope my mom is watching. She loved her some Enrique back in the mole days.

Anyway. Video shoot. The idea has something to do with vampires which kind of makes sense seeing as how the girls are all hoochied up and wearing leather and such. I could kind of see where they would go for a dark vampire/goth theme for the club atmosphere. However, watching the video at end of the episode, I realize that Enrique actually sings something about vampires. So the song is actually about vampires? Sad, because the music is sort of catchy.

Jaslene has a billboard!

Lisa gets picked to be the "featured" girl in the video, expect she's not really. They treat this as a challenge win, but Lisa didn't have to do a dang thing for it. They just liked her looks for the video. Kinda lame. However, she does turn out a pretty wicked cool shot. Especially that leg. I think maybe her legs could win this if they left the rest of her behind.

Heather also delivers a pretty cool shot, if only looking slightly demonic. I think that is part of Heathers charm. The rest of the girls are all kinda of static.
Then, the drama we were promised from the previews. Heather collapses! Because she didn't eat much that day and was really hot and dehydrated. A little scary yes, but life threatening it is not. it's nice to see the other girls so concerned though. However,

Heather drinks some water and is OKAY. Thank goodness. I was worried. We wrap up the shoot and head back to the house.

And right to judging. No pho-tos this week. Instead we get to see the video of the girls from the music video. They love Lisa and her legs. Ambreal is too hoochie. I find that critique odd because I actually thought she looked totally vacant. They like Saleisha and Sarah in their little duo shot. They give Sarah some more crap about her weight. What is the girl supposed to do? We can't all eat our ribs everyday Tyra.

Heather is great and awkward and great. Jenah is not sexy. Chantal is holding back. Figured out the bottom two yet? If not, this must the the first time you've watched the show. Go back and reread the first paragraph of this recap.

Deliberation. Lisa, Heather and Saleisha are great. Ambreal is flat for some. Jenah is not deliver this week. Chantal is boring. And then this. They get on Sarah for losing weight again which okay
whatever, but then Tyra says, "She entered this competition as a plus-sized girl and now she's not." What? Sarah was never plus sized. She was, as Tyra called it, "real-sized". I take that to be about size 6-10. On my tv screen, Sarah does appear to be at the smaller scale of that, but come on. Even in these flashback clips, she was never the size 12-14 that plus sized girls are supposed to be. Angry.

Tyra only has 7 pho-tos in her hands. They go to: Lisa, Heather, Saleisha, Bianca, Ambreal, Jenah. Chantal and Sarah are bottom two. They are faulted for "coasting" and not being the best in the competition which seems like a silly critique, but whatever Ms. Banks. Chantal gets the photo and I pout.

Bye, Sarah. Tyra was just angry that you could lose weight so easily.

Next week:
The girls get stranded in the desert. Whoever can make it back to civilization and turn out the fiercest picture wins. Or something like that.

ANTM Cycle 9 Recap Episode

So I hate the recap episodes and yet, feel compelled to watch them. The previews always show something that somewhat intriguing so I watch and of course it's not interesting. Tonights recap was no exception. Highlights for me:

- More Sarah, including a possible love interest in Jenah. Did anyone else catch Jenah's "Sarah's cute" comment? Innocent or something more? Whatever it may be, I like Sarah and was happy to see more of her. Especially since she is probably not going to be around much longer.

- Bianca's teeny tiny redemption arc. We all saw the bitch and then we all saw the absence of the bitch. Here they showed us a little more about it.

- Bianca/Chantal showdown. Chantal is one lucky girl to have gotten off so easy. Maybe her thighs don't even deserve looking at in the mirror.

Lowlights:

- Lots of Ebony shots that Tyra clearly threw in there to shove it in our face that she quit. We GET it Tyra. You hate quitters. Move on with life. Let her go.

- Toilet plunging. Don't need that.

- Any time they showed Mila. I thought I got rid of her like a month ago.

Next week:

Tyra tries the video shoot again. Let's hope she's not singing this time. Also, someone gets dizzy and falls down. My bet is that it is ten times less interesting than I want it to be.